sigh
When my mom reminded me of my watch today, as usual I told her plainly that it was definitely at home, sitting some where in a corner and I'll go back and find it. Nope, I never thought too much about it cause that's how it is with all my things, they're just there, and I have never really lost anything before. This time, it was different.
For those of you whom I went out with today know, my mom was extremely worked up about my watch not being anywhere around the house. I got so irritated and was thinking why is she so worked up about it when I used my own money (from the part-time job I had the other time) to buy it? Anyway, I brushed her off, telling her I remember leaving it on the dining table and half thinking she would now leave me alone so that when I got home I could show her where my watch was. She replied my message telling me that it was no where on the dining table and I sorta thought, maybe my memory just failed me but I'm sure it's somewhere in the house.
When I got back, I had to rush to send moon back to phileo to get her car and go home so I when I really had time to look, I couldn't find it!
My mom told me, before I started looking, that it was nowhere to be found and that if I could find it, she would give me RM50. To prove that I do not misplace my things, I told my sister I'd split the 50 half and give it to her, so we started looking for it together. While I was in the midst of looking for it, my sister told me that my mom last saw it on the dining table as well and she took it upstairs and left it on the computer table, where my spectacles and other stuff were.
I have no memory of seeing my watch on the computer table.
My mom mentioned before that she was worried that while we were packing and cleaning the stuff on the computer table, it might've rolled into the dustbin and got thrown away with the rubbish. Before I found out that she had taken it upstairs and put it on the computer table, I thought it was nonsense to think that my watch would have it's own feet and drop inside any rubbish bin. After hearing what my sister told me, I got angry and went downstairs when my mom snorted and said "you can't find it right?!" That was when I burst out saying "I did not misplace my watch, you did! I left it on the dining table and it would've been on the dining table had you not taken it upstairs and left it lying around that it might've rolled and dropped into the rubbish bin and got thrown away!"
So then fault lies with my mom.
At first I tried not to think too much about it while my mom was worried sick, realising that it was her fault. I told my mom I'm sure it's still somewhere in the house and I looked, my sister looked, we checked all the possible places my watch could be hiding. I even double, triple checked the few most plausible spots but no, nothing.
If you don't know, my watch costs RM400. And, I'm sure most people know how much I love and treasure my watch, it's like my most prized possession and everyone finds it unique. I never once regretted spending the money to buy it because I loved it so much I told myself I won't get a watch ever again, unless it was beyond repair. The more I thought about it, the more heartache I felt. It didn't really hit me in the beginning, maybe because I am slow to realise and feel any sort of emotion towards things or people (like I never realise I miss my friends until I sit alone after a few months, thinking about them). But now, late at night, as I think about it, about losing my watch, sigh. I feel like crying.
I'm not mad at my mom, I don't really want her to feel guilty either but I just can't imagine life without my watch. I prayed so hard while looking for it that I would find it, that it would miraculously turn up somewhere but nil, none, nothing. As I'm writing this, I realised I never thought about how I would feel if I had lost it, because it never occured to me. I really want it back, it's not something that can be replaced by buying a new watch. I guess it's like how when my canon ixus got stolen.
I've learnt something today--that I need to take care of my things better and to also tell my mom never to move anything I leave around the house because she always does it to my sister (e.g. taking her phone and putting it inside the drawer then forgetting until reminded or asked about it).
I hope my sadness over the issue doesn't affect the way I treat my mom tomorrow. I'm already trying to show like it doesn't matter when it really does now. I still pray and hope I find it safely, lying in some corner.
Lost, out of sight, and nowhere to be found
Loved, prized, I hope it comes around
Found, what joy! I'll take care this time round
Please, just once, let me find it, let it be found
For those of you whom I went out with today know, my mom was extremely worked up about my watch not being anywhere around the house. I got so irritated and was thinking why is she so worked up about it when I used my own money (from the part-time job I had the other time) to buy it? Anyway, I brushed her off, telling her I remember leaving it on the dining table and half thinking she would now leave me alone so that when I got home I could show her where my watch was. She replied my message telling me that it was no where on the dining table and I sorta thought, maybe my memory just failed me but I'm sure it's somewhere in the house.
When I got back, I had to rush to send moon back to phileo to get her car and go home so I when I really had time to look, I couldn't find it!
My mom told me, before I started looking, that it was nowhere to be found and that if I could find it, she would give me RM50. To prove that I do not misplace my things, I told my sister I'd split the 50 half and give it to her, so we started looking for it together. While I was in the midst of looking for it, my sister told me that my mom last saw it on the dining table as well and she took it upstairs and left it on the computer table, where my spectacles and other stuff were.
I have no memory of seeing my watch on the computer table.
My mom mentioned before that she was worried that while we were packing and cleaning the stuff on the computer table, it might've rolled into the dustbin and got thrown away with the rubbish. Before I found out that she had taken it upstairs and put it on the computer table, I thought it was nonsense to think that my watch would have it's own feet and drop inside any rubbish bin. After hearing what my sister told me, I got angry and went downstairs when my mom snorted and said "you can't find it right?!" That was when I burst out saying "I did not misplace my watch, you did! I left it on the dining table and it would've been on the dining table had you not taken it upstairs and left it lying around that it might've rolled and dropped into the rubbish bin and got thrown away!"
So then fault lies with my mom.
At first I tried not to think too much about it while my mom was worried sick, realising that it was her fault. I told my mom I'm sure it's still somewhere in the house and I looked, my sister looked, we checked all the possible places my watch could be hiding. I even double, triple checked the few most plausible spots but no, nothing.
If you don't know, my watch costs RM400. And, I'm sure most people know how much I love and treasure my watch, it's like my most prized possession and everyone finds it unique. I never once regretted spending the money to buy it because I loved it so much I told myself I won't get a watch ever again, unless it was beyond repair. The more I thought about it, the more heartache I felt. It didn't really hit me in the beginning, maybe because I am slow to realise and feel any sort of emotion towards things or people (like I never realise I miss my friends until I sit alone after a few months, thinking about them). But now, late at night, as I think about it, about losing my watch, sigh. I feel like crying.
I'm not mad at my mom, I don't really want her to feel guilty either but I just can't imagine life without my watch. I prayed so hard while looking for it that I would find it, that it would miraculously turn up somewhere but nil, none, nothing. As I'm writing this, I realised I never thought about how I would feel if I had lost it, because it never occured to me. I really want it back, it's not something that can be replaced by buying a new watch. I guess it's like how when my canon ixus got stolen.
I've learnt something today--that I need to take care of my things better and to also tell my mom never to move anything I leave around the house because she always does it to my sister (e.g. taking her phone and putting it inside the drawer then forgetting until reminded or asked about it).
I hope my sadness over the issue doesn't affect the way I treat my mom tomorrow. I'm already trying to show like it doesn't matter when it really does now. I still pray and hope I find it safely, lying in some corner.
Lost, out of sight, and nowhere to be found
Loved, prized, I hope it comes around
Found, what joy! I'll take care this time round
Please, just once, let me find it, let it be found
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