I miss the times where me and my friends can talk about a lot of stuff. I expected a lot la when i got my internet connection and everyone was busy they couldn't chat. I miss the times where we just crap non stop. No one talks to me about the things in m'sia or shares the interesting things going on in my life here that's why i blog more. See the connection behind it all?
No friends to share = blog more
Got friends to share = blog less
Easy equation to understand. I just feel some ppl are being selfish sometimes. Communicating requires 2 people, heard of the saying which goes like "one hand cannot clap" (literal translation)? Yeah that's exactly how i feel. Talking requires a person to send information and one person to receive then the person that receives changes roles and becomes the sender instead while the original sender becomes the receiver and that's what i learned in communication. Answers like "mmm", "yeah", "okay" just holds the communication process cause it kinda shows the person's rejection to communicate further by giving short and non-answer replies.
I ask things cause I'm trying to create a conversation and cause I'm not there I don't know what's going on. Curiosity lead me to ask those questions and answers like "i don't know and don't wanna talk about it cause it's sucks" makes me feel dejected and go like "you don't like then don't answer me? isn't that being a bit selfish? I'm not there and i would naturally want to know what's happening so can't you just answer me?" Or well, from the person's perspective it might be "i've had enough of that shit today i don't wanna talk about it anymore so can you not ask those questions? isn't there something else we could talk about?" but well the way i got the answer wasn't too nice from how i interpreted it...
That's why i hate the internet sometimes, it doesn't let you see the person's expression or body language to evaluate how the message goes across (as in whether the person is jokingly saying it, annoyingly saying it or angrily saying it etc.) A simple sentence such as "i don't know" with body language can bring different meanings. I'm giving both sides the better of doubt because i may have interpreted the whole thing wrongly but i really felt like why would someone be so selfish? it's like it's all about YOU YOU YOU and anything else about others just come with a "oh okay" reply.
I don't know if i do that at times too (go on and on talking about me only with others) and if i did i apologize cause i am interested in your life in case i don't show it. There's this wall between us already where we're not truthful enough and everytime i talk to you i feel like i have to take care to not hurt the relationship between us cause i cherish it. But it's getting hard, remember how we used to talk about things openly?
You expect a lot from me which i already am tired of giving to you - i cannot constantly tell you you're good cause i run out of words sometimes and you being proud of yourself is good, I admire that pride. It's just that too much gives me the feel you're showing off. You always say "not that i wanna show off or anything lah but..." using that phrase once or twice is fine, i understand, however over usage of that sentence is already bragging. You always use disclaimers when talking to me (eg "not to say anything lah but...") so that i cannot comment? you realize that? Everything i comment i'm also worried it might hurt you cause as a friend i want to be truthful but you take in my comments in another way which i did not intend. You are smarter and better than me in many ways i agree but i'm still older in which i feel sometimes you can listen to me and what i have to say. You make me feel dumb sometimes and you make me feel that you're more superior than me...
Respect others if you want respect, people say... I'd say everything else applies to this line of thought where if you expect praise, be ready to give praise to others. If you expect truthfulness, be truthful. If you expect an open and comfortable relationship, be ready to open up and accept. That's what friends do right? accept what you are. Listen if you expect others to listen to you, i don't know how to tell this to you except for writing it out. I'm sorry if you feel i openly hurt you by blogging it out. But i tear everytime i think of what our friendship has come to, i really feel the need to open up and tell you. I don't want this dislike in me to grow and pile up to a point i complain cause i really really really want to save this friendship. I really really really appreciate it and i believe we are bonded in some way. I don't believe God put you in my life to make me feel hurt in this friendship and everything happens for a reason and it's in God's plans...
No friends to share = blog more
Got friends to share = blog less
Easy equation to understand. I just feel some ppl are being selfish sometimes. Communicating requires 2 people, heard of the saying which goes like "one hand cannot clap" (literal translation)? Yeah that's exactly how i feel. Talking requires a person to send information and one person to receive then the person that receives changes roles and becomes the sender instead while the original sender becomes the receiver and that's what i learned in communication. Answers like "mmm", "yeah", "okay" just holds the communication process cause it kinda shows the person's rejection to communicate further by giving short and non-answer replies.
I ask things cause I'm trying to create a conversation and cause I'm not there I don't know what's going on. Curiosity lead me to ask those questions and answers like "i don't know and don't wanna talk about it cause it's sucks" makes me feel dejected and go like "you don't like then don't answer me? isn't that being a bit selfish? I'm not there and i would naturally want to know what's happening so can't you just answer me?" Or well, from the person's perspective it might be "i've had enough of that shit today i don't wanna talk about it anymore so can you not ask those questions? isn't there something else we could talk about?" but well the way i got the answer wasn't too nice from how i interpreted it...
That's why i hate the internet sometimes, it doesn't let you see the person's expression or body language to evaluate how the message goes across (as in whether the person is jokingly saying it, annoyingly saying it or angrily saying it etc.) A simple sentence such as "i don't know" with body language can bring different meanings. I'm giving both sides the better of doubt because i may have interpreted the whole thing wrongly but i really felt like why would someone be so selfish? it's like it's all about YOU YOU YOU and anything else about others just come with a "oh okay" reply.
I don't know if i do that at times too (go on and on talking about me only with others) and if i did i apologize cause i am interested in your life in case i don't show it. There's this wall between us already where we're not truthful enough and everytime i talk to you i feel like i have to take care to not hurt the relationship between us cause i cherish it. But it's getting hard, remember how we used to talk about things openly?
You expect a lot from me which i already am tired of giving to you - i cannot constantly tell you you're good cause i run out of words sometimes and you being proud of yourself is good, I admire that pride. It's just that too much gives me the feel you're showing off. You always say "not that i wanna show off or anything lah but..." using that phrase once or twice is fine, i understand, however over usage of that sentence is already bragging. You always use disclaimers when talking to me (eg "not to say anything lah but...") so that i cannot comment? you realize that? Everything i comment i'm also worried it might hurt you cause as a friend i want to be truthful but you take in my comments in another way which i did not intend. You are smarter and better than me in many ways i agree but i'm still older in which i feel sometimes you can listen to me and what i have to say. You make me feel dumb sometimes and you make me feel that you're more superior than me...
Respect others if you want respect, people say... I'd say everything else applies to this line of thought where if you expect praise, be ready to give praise to others. If you expect truthfulness, be truthful. If you expect an open and comfortable relationship, be ready to open up and accept. That's what friends do right? accept what you are. Listen if you expect others to listen to you, i don't know how to tell this to you except for writing it out. I'm sorry if you feel i openly hurt you by blogging it out. But i tear everytime i think of what our friendship has come to, i really feel the need to open up and tell you. I don't want this dislike in me to grow and pile up to a point i complain cause i really really really want to save this friendship. I really really really appreciate it and i believe we are bonded in some way. I don't believe God put you in my life to make me feel hurt in this friendship and everything happens for a reason and it's in God's plans...
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