Sigh, the feeling of being unwanted.
It's just such a sad feeling where you just feel empty.
You know how they say like having God's joy in you, you will feel so full and overflowing that you don't need other things to fill that emptiness in your heart? Its true, it is true but somehow this feeling has been in me for a very long time, I have been pushing away this feeling and it comes back to me on and off.
I hate living like I don't have the love and blessings from God because I do and I am contented. It's just that this feeling of no one wanting me haunts me and it makes me think why am I so useless sometimes. The more I think of it, the more i see the bad sides of me which I will tell myself I'm never going to be good enough and I will end up living with my mom till i grow old.
I've been overweight all my life. I hate it but I never do anything about it (well I do but it's never good enough) every time I feel that I've accomplished something, I will be happy about it until i realize it's nothing compared to something else. I also realize to be stick thin is not possible for me. I always think that I can never find someone to love me because of how i look and no, no one I feel will see the inside of me who is all nice. "It's the inner beauty that people see and not the outward" which i can never find myself to believe.
I really do believe that if this goes on, I will stay with my mom till i grow old and take care of my sister's kids instead. I just feel like crying. Sigh, sudden emo breakdown. Sorry you had to read that.
sigh, i need a bible verse to comfort me <3
It's just such a sad feeling where you just feel empty.
You know how they say like having God's joy in you, you will feel so full and overflowing that you don't need other things to fill that emptiness in your heart? Its true, it is true but somehow this feeling has been in me for a very long time, I have been pushing away this feeling and it comes back to me on and off.
I hate living like I don't have the love and blessings from God because I do and I am contented. It's just that this feeling of no one wanting me haunts me and it makes me think why am I so useless sometimes. The more I think of it, the more i see the bad sides of me which I will tell myself I'm never going to be good enough and I will end up living with my mom till i grow old.
I've been overweight all my life. I hate it but I never do anything about it (well I do but it's never good enough) every time I feel that I've accomplished something, I will be happy about it until i realize it's nothing compared to something else. I also realize to be stick thin is not possible for me. I always think that I can never find someone to love me because of how i look and no, no one I feel will see the inside of me who is all nice. "It's the inner beauty that people see and not the outward" which i can never find myself to believe.
I really do believe that if this goes on, I will stay with my mom till i grow old and take care of my sister's kids instead. I just feel like crying. Sigh, sudden emo breakdown. Sorry you had to read that.
sigh, i need a bible verse to comfort me <3
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